Question

My husband over the last three years has told me he’s dying, written a will taking me out of everything and taken personal monies of mine without discussing this with me.

He ordered big plant machinery without consulting me. He has put our company into serious trouble by misappropriating funds and continues to cause financial problems to the detriment of the family. He deliberately took the business records out of our home and moved them to his mother’s home without discussing this with me.

He has also struggled with depression over the last few years.

I have stayed and hoped for the best for the children’s sake (ages 3 and 8) but feel his diminished responsibility is starting to make me ill. Any help would be appreciated.

Answer

You are in a strange situation that needs immediate action to create stability for you and your children. You have many legitimate questions and concerns about your husband’s mental and physical state that need answers.

The first thing you need to do is see if you can approach your husband and have him tell you the truth about his and the business’s health. You deserve to know what’s going on and why he’s acting so erratically.

Chances are, he won’t give you the truth. If he were an upstanding and compassionate husband, he would have already done everything he could to take care of you and the children in the event of his passing. The fact that he’s protecting his assets in the face of his supposedly impending death reeks of deception on so many levels.

Do you really think he’s dying? If he is, why isn’t he protecting you and the children? Is he looking for a way out of the marriage?

Your husband may have reasons for his strange behavior, but the outcome is still the same if he’s hiding and stealing. You have a right to know the truth.

The more you push for answers, the more you’ll know the truth. There is nothing wrong with you seeking out legal and financial advice to figure out how to protect yourself and your children. Granted, this will strain your marriage, but I don’t know how it could be anymore strained. You have an obligation to know your legal rights as a business owner and spouse.

Your husband has made decisions that show you how little he values you, your marriage and your children. It’s a devastating betrayal to not only have him announce his impending death but also immediately begin stealing away your security.

Unfortunately, you have to do the unthinkable and investigate your own husband to find out the truth. Hopefully you can not only learn the truth but also find ways to secure a future for you and your children.

Stay connected!

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Geoff Steurer is a licensed marriage and family therapist in private practice in St. George, Utah. He specializes in working with couples in all stages of their relationships. The opinions stated in this article are solely his and not those of St. George News.

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